Prior to age 18 there are two relationships in your life that you have no say in choosing: the one with your parents and the one with your guidance counselor. You are stuck with both until graduation. By senior year, it is likely that you have learned to love your parents for who they are and what they bring to the table, even if that is the musical stylings of Barry Manilow and basic cable. It is also likely that over the course of 18 years your parents have worked hard to build a solid and significant relationship with you. It is unlikely that this can be said for your guidance counselor. It should be noted, though, that your parents have somewhere between one and six kids, I’m guessing, whereas your guidance counselor has somewhere between 100 and 500 kids, just during work hours. So you may have to cut him a little slack if he doesn’t know your AP French score, choice of safety school or date of birth off the top of his head.
So, then, what is the point in attempting to build a relationship with Mr. Chipperpants? I mean, he’s really not going to be a permanent fixture in your life. Plus, he has that awful Successories poster above his desk about CHALLENGE. The one where some lady is hanging off a cliff and beneath her is a piece of painfully uninspiring text about pushing your limits to achieve greatness. (And yes, for the sake of this blog, we are assuming Mr. Chipperpants is your guidance counselor and that he has at least one poster like this.) Well, this Chipperpants guy is the person who fills out your school’s portion of the Common Application. He basically rates and ranks you to some extent or another and then writes a recommendation to all your prospective colleges, providing an adult’s take on your prior accomplishments and your potential for growth within the context of higher education. So there’s that. I mean, do you imagine that some day when you apply for your dream job that you will use references whom you have met a total of four times for 10-minute intervals? I didn’t think so. So let’s get a bit better acquainted with this man, shall we?
Junior year is a great time to start. Attempt a resume. Put yourself on paper: your activities, accomplishments, awards, outside interests, and the nuts and bolts of your academic history since 9th Grade. This will actually serve two purposes; it will allow you to evaluate what you have accomplished up to this point and it will also give you an excuse to go see Chipperpants. During this meeting you should also take advantage of this precious time and see to what extent Chipperpants can be a resource to you. Many guidance counselors hold a great deal of knowledge about specific schools and the college process in general. However, sometimes you have to ask specific questions that pertain to you and your goals in order to tap into said knowledge bank. He will likely be excited that you are thinking about life outside of high school. He will also view you as someone who will take the college process seriously. He may even start to use words such as ambitious, proactive, and conscientious when your name comes up at faculty meetings and in casual conversation with his peers. It is an absolute gift for guidance counselors when know they have students who are self-starters.
Once you have established a relationship with Chipperpants, you will be in a position to get solid advice about many of the annoying questions one wrestles with senior year. Should I take AP Environmental Science or AP Physics given my intended major? Which teachers write the best recommendations? What colleges might find me desirable given that I am from North Dakota and I am thinking about studying Classics and Pure Mathematics? Ah, so it turns out this person with the small office and the bad art might be useful after all. The truth is that some guidance counselors are just better than others. Some are really great, total gems. Some are giant duds. And most simply fall somewhere in between. But none of them can help you to the fullest extent, none of them can write candidly and hopefully favorably on your behalf if they do not have a relationship with you.
